in the midst

Have you ever been in the midst? In the midst of struggle, in the midst of heartache, in the midst of grief? Did you feel like in the midst was all there was and there was no foreseeable end?

When I was in the midst of my grief and pain of infertility and miscarriage. I wrote. And those writings became poems, and those poems became a book, and that book I self-published, and then it took on a life of its own.

I recently received an email from someone I have never met, who read my poems. She wrote about how  “it felt comforting to know that I wasn’t the only one dealing with such a prolonged deep sadness”.

All I could think when I read those words was “my story matters”.

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wordplay

wordplay

It’s Wednesday which means it’s time for the second edition of Word Play.

I couldn’t shake this one today, what with end of term, and parties, crazy weather and crazy kids.

Today’s offering is:

Bedlam – a noisy confused situation; a madhouse

Can anyone relate?

Jodie

To see last weeks wordplay, click here.

the waiting

I haven’t been posting in this space for a while, mainly because I was waiting for my study to be painted and the house to return to normal. But my study is painted, order is restored, I have a beautiful writing space and yet, still I hesitate, still I delay. I just can’t seem to think of anything to say.

study

And it’s because I am in the waiting. That nebulous space where I am waiting for inspiration, for something worthwhile to say.

I feel like I am in that stage for a number of things at the moment. I am brimming chock full of ideas, with very little clarity as to implementation or even direction. I am in the waiting.

Being a person of faith, I have thrown it all up in the air, and what do you know? No answers yet, still waiting.

But what if I treated the waiting as if it were important too?

What if even though I can’t see progress, I accept that progress is still being made?

What if I accept that there is validity here, in this place of questions and no answers, with more dreams each and every day?

What if I believe that dreaming is important, and it grows me in intangible ways?

What if I believe that sometimes just sitting with ideas is all you need to do, to sift them through?

What if I believe there is purpose in the waiting, the gently holding, the lightly offering of these ideas?

What if I treat them not as mine but His and let Him blow on them to grow, or blow away as He wills?

What then?

Jodie

for the love of words

wordplay

I love words. I love the craftsmanship of a well-told story, the beauty of a well-formed sentence and the weight of a word standing on its own with its variety of meanings.

I am a linguist, I love to study, examine and break down words. I am a poet, I love playing with words. And I am also a language student, I would love to be able to do both of the above in any language you could throw at me!

I love how words can be fun, how they be serious, how they can cut through, how they can inspire. I believe in the power of words.

So today I am starting a new series called “Word Play” where I am going to share one of my favourite words.

I am just going to present the word, and its definition simply not going into any detail as to why I chose it. That way, you can then take the the word, and just have a play!

Today’s offering was inspired by a little conversation with Miss Em from Teacups Too. This is one of my favourite words and I was so thrilled that she used it.

So without further ado here is the first edition of “Word Play”.

Oodles: a superabundance of anything; a mass of things; a heap; a great quantity.

I love it, isn’t it fabulous. Hope you have oodles of fun with words today!

Jodie

 

house or home

I have a love-hate relationship with home shows and home magazines. I love to be inspired by people’s creativity and the artistic expression of their own personality, but I don’t want to be drawn into the trap of buying things because they are just so “now”. This meant that for a long time I swung to far to the “do nothing” side of things with my home decoration, but now I love to seek out things that are an expression of me and my family, and that create the space that we need. This is different for every family but for us it needs to be peaceful, welcoming and comfortable.

I recently helped my sister move house. She has moved a lot closer which is wonderful, and due to a number of trying circumstances she needed a good deal of assistance over moving weekend.

I love my sister’s sense of style, it is quirky and eclectic with lots of colour and a generous helping of fun and cheeky kitsch. While my house is more muted tones and my sense of style is different, I always feel happy to go to her place, not just for the company, somehow the decor cheers me too.

So it was very interesting to be involved in the deconstructing of her old home, and see it once more become just a house. Clinical and impersonal, devoid of the touches of life, and the colour that made it into a home. And conversely to experience the creation of a new home, from a blank canvas, to watch her things and her family fill the new space, and suddenly it gained that little something it was lacking, colour, life and vibrancy. Even though there are still boxes to unpack and rooms not yet arranged, it went in the space of that weekend from house to home.

It was a sobering reminder to me that home is about your people, it is about your expression of who you are as a family, and it becomes a place to welcome others.

house home

 

 

 

know thyself

 

Between the ages of twenty and forty we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity.

I love the quote above  from W H Auden.

Maybe it is because Mr just turned 40, and maybe it is because I’m next? (Technically I say he is a year older than me, but in reality it’s 6 months!)

But I do feel like I have been going through a process of discovery and acceptance.

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away

clear

I’ve been away.

Consciously, deliberately, as a circuit breaker.

Firstly from social media. I found there were things being shared that I just couldn’t handle. I know myself, I know my limits, and it just wasn’t worth checking, so I didn’t.

I have been away.

Consciously, deliberately, for celebration.

Mr has just had a very significant birthday. And my naturally introvert husband chose to spend time with me, then our little family, and then the extended family. We have had a week of celebration. A week of connection, a week of creating memories and remembering where we have come from.

I have been away, and it has been absolutely wonderful.

And now I feel strong enough, and refreshed enough to come back.

So for those of you that were looking for my posts, I’m sorry but I just had to take a break.

What about you, where do you need to take a break?

And the even more important question “why do you need to take a break?”

Sometimes getting away can be the very best thing, sometimes it is just the thing to give you the strength to come back.

feeling refreshed,

Jodie