To brave the wilderness and become the wilderness we must learn how to trust ourselves and trust others.
‘Belonging’ … what emotions does that word bring up in you?
For me belonging is a complicated concept. I left Australia at the age of four and returned at fourteen. During these first years of my life I lived in eight different cities. I never lived in a country for more than three years at a time. I am what is called a Third Culture Kid (TCK).
I was Australian by birth, English by accent and international in outlook.
One of my girls favourite treats is apple juice. So much so that when we make a list in the school holidays of of fun things to do, “Drink apple juice” always makes it on there.
Ever had the sensation of going about your everyday, the ordinary routine of the minutiae of life. When you are suddenly struck by the feeling of being present at something sacred?
I have a confession to make. While I love Brené Brown’s books, and her insights, I have never yet finished one of her books.
Because it gets too hard. Because she touches on a raw nerve. Because she goes too deep. Because she asks things of me that I am not completely sure I want to go through.
I know that in the end I will be a braver, more whole-hearted person. But I’m not sure I want to do the work and sift through my emotional debris to get there.
And then I said “yes”.
I said “yes” to a book club. I said “yes” to Elaine and Amanda. I said “yes” to accountability. So here I am Chapter 8 of Rising Strong and still going, and this chapter is asking a lot of me!
There is a pattern in my life, an unhealthy pattern, a pattern of denial. A pattern of not owning the reality that is placed upon me.
I established and ran a woman’s ministry in our church for a number of years, and yet I hesitated to call myself a leader. I have been writing in one form or another since I was 6 years old but only recently have I called myself a writer. I have been involved in creative events and services for a long time, and yet would never have thought to call myself creative.
But there is power in owning those names, there is power in finally stepping up and saying “yes, I am a leader, I am a writer, I am creative”. Because opportunities suddenly appear.
And this is why …
We’ve been having some very confusing weather of late. We have had beautiful balmy weekends that seem to herald the arrival of spring and then wet and cold weeks where the wind is blowing straight off the antarctic.
I am finding it very frustrating. I don’t know whether to hang my washing or put it in the dryer. I don’t know whether to take an umbrella or not. I don’t quite know what the season is, and I just wish it would make up its mind so I could plan.
Deny: to declare a statement to be untrue; to reject as false; to withhold; to refuse to fulfil the expectations of; to refuse to acknowledge; disown; to refuse (oneself) things desired.
I am a big believer in the power of words. The words spoken over our life and the words that we speak to ourselves have power to hurt, harm, heal or help. But I also think there is a place to examine the words we deny.
Are you good with compliments?